About stereotypes and such.

When we mention stereotypes, we all tend to think of it in the negative view; 'if you are a gay, you must have rampant sex and have STI/HIV' 'If you are a are a guy and have sex with multiple sex partners, you must be a stud. However if you are a girl, you are a slut who cannnot keep your legs closed' Which of course, are not true at all! (But thats not our topic today to counter these stereotypes.)

In actual fact, stereotypes are used widely in daily life, as a form of general classification and of course, for humour.

In primary school maths problems, you would have a Malay friend named Ali, a Indian friend named Muthu and a Chinese friend named Xiao Ming; thats a stereotype. And Muthu would probably have a father selling Roti Prata, and probably Xiao Ming would have a father Ah Seng selling Hainanese Chicken Rice. Stereotypes? Yes of course. Would you actually argue people are being racist, that they Indians need not sell only Chicken Rice, and that there are also Muslim Chinese selling Halal food? There's a pebble in your shoe, stop, and remove the pebble before walking.


Seen this before? If not, time to get a chuckle:

Now, thats stereotypes; Blackberry users are businessmen, Apple users think they are oh-so-cool, and they think Blackberry users are old fashioned. Android users think they are super tech-savy. Entirely true? Not really, its vast generalization: there are school kids using Blackberries, and there are old aunties using Apple, and Businessmen using Android devices. And if you still have a strong opinion, repeat my advice as above: There's a pebble in your shoe, stop, and remove the pebble before walking.

Now lets look at some Engineer jokes: A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:

"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool." 

Now now, we could all agree on that in real life, engineers would turn down a beautiful princess who would do everything for you (Including all your kinky fetishes in bed)




Now at Dilbert (For those not familar, Dilbert is a Engineer)

And of course, I have used various stereotypes in the below 2 blogposts, stereotypes that engineers are badly dressed, are boring people etc. Similarly, in the other blogpost, Girls get yourself a Engineer as an ideal partner (http://therealfakentu.blogspot.com/2011/02/girls-get-yourself-engineer-as-ideal.html) I also stereotyped engineers as being faithful to their partners, and being able to fix everything in the house. Of course, there are engineers who would be cheating on their spouses; Engineers like IT Engineers who are unable to fix leaking pipes (different discipline, remember?). Such Stereotypes do not apply to every single individuals, nor account for any group on the whole. Stereotypes exist because of people's perspection and also for generalization and classifying people for ease and humour. (Eg refer to my above example as Muthu Curry and Ah Seng Chicken rice)

And oh yes, if the pebble in your shoe is still really uncomfortable, do remove before walking.

On a lighter note: 2 more weeks of lessons before its recess week people!

What are your thoughts on stereotyping as a form of generalization and humour? Let us know through a comment below!

Engineers do not make ideal boyfriends/husbands

Editor's note: This 2 blogpost series on Engineers are full of sterotypes, well, hope you were tickled pink by them and not be offended! Especially our friends in engine :) " 

Before we start, lets have a Engineer Identification Test (This was from a dibert comic which i saw months back):

Q: You see a picture hanging crooked on the wall, what do you do?

A) Ignore it.
B)  Straighten it.
C) Brainstorm on how to invent a self-adjusting picture frame, which would detect even the slightest tilt, which auto-detects and corrects the fault.

If you guessed C, yes you are an Engineer.


 In our previous blogpost, we talked about how engineers were ideal partners in life (see: http://therealfakentu.blogspot.com/2011/02/girls-get-yourself-engineer-as-ideal.html ) and of course, this was not fair at all (Because I'm a Business student, figures, doesn't it?)

So we had a shoutout on twitter, and asked for contributions:

@cherylongxoxo: they, um, wear shorts and slippers everywhere?

@behindthebasics they are not cool enough. my bf must be cool... 


Yes, Engineers general believe in function over form & design. ie, the function of a device should be more important that the appearance of it. So to them, the mere purpose of clothes is just to ensure that genitals and/or mammary glands are are decently covered and not freezing in air-conditioned labs. Anything else, is excessive. So there you go: Singlets, Crocs sandals, track shoes paired with jeans, faded tees, anything goes.

 Shirts pants and crocs? Whatever were u thinking of?

over worn and washed tee, the collar's out of shape! 

Photos courtesy of @NTUFJ

Which brings us to our topic on why engineers make bad partners:

1) They hardly bother to dress up: 
You "Honey, I bought this new maroon toga, and this black maxi; which one shall i wear it to our anniversary dinner later?"

Engineer "They all look the same"


"What? you mean i can wear shirts from Giordano for our wedding photoshoot? But i just bought these shirts last month!"

"Do I have to wear a tie to work? Why can't i just wear my tee shirt?"


 @lovesmichie they are too boring! Haha! No offense *peace*

Engineers are boring people? which brings us to the topic of:

2) You can never engage in small talk with them:

Just whipped up medium rare steak, dimmed the lights, lit up some candles and opened the bottle of 1988 Chardonnay, in preparation for a romantic dinner, leading to steamy sexy?

Do not bother to engage in small talk with an engineer: any conversation with them, will end up with why the future of web content is in HTML 5, and javascript and Flash is going down to hell. if not they will talk about why a nuclear fusion is actually possible in a contained environment, then leading on why the future of web content is in HTML 5. And then he will try to explain how C++ programming is going to triumph Java because it supports Containers, Algorithms, Iterators, while Java does not. (Don't worry i don't understand any of these either)

you'd be better off making sweet love to a dildo before he comes home, and asking him microwave the steak for dinner. He'll be glad that you won't be boring him with the latest episode of Gossip Girls.



3) Lousy job titles:
It was mentioned in the previous blogpost that:

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a stable income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too.

Yes but no matter how long they work, their job titles will ALWAYS have these few words:

1) Technician; eg Laboratory Process Technician, Field Technician
2) Engineer; eg Software Engineer
3) Analyst; eg Data Analyst, Manufacturing System Analyst
4) Researcher; eg Aerodynamics Researcher
5) Support; Support Analyst
6) Developer; eg JAVA/C++ Developer
7) Operator; eg IT Support Operator, GIA Operator
8) Quality Assurance; Quality Assurance Analyst
9) Hardware/IT; eg Hardware Technician

don't believe? see this entire list of job for engineering students: http://www.cecs.uwaterloo.ca/students/prospective/engineering.php 

What if you met up with your old classmates and they wanted to exchange namecards, and your husband's namecard reads: Manufacturing System Engineer? Yawnnnn.

What if your husband was in the banking industry, what would his card read? Chief Information Operations Executive. Investment Banker.

Arts? Creative Director. Director of cinematography.

Medicine? The abbreviation of 'Dr.' in his namecard would be able to wow all your friends.

(and btw, my namecard reads Creative Director, just saying :D ) 


and other contributions about Engineers as partners from our twitter friends:

@FinnSolomon: Engineers aren't ideal husbands, because they always disappear after capturing the enemy Construction Yard. (in particular to Red Alert) 

@jemjemejeremy: they calculate EVERYTHING! 


What do you feel about engineers as boyfriends/husbands? Are you dating a EEE(w) or a CB(e) guy?  Let us know through a comment below!

Girls, get yourself a Engineer as an ideal husband.

I happen to chance upon this facebook note, done especially well by Shaocong Najip Ang, in NTU EEE. So all credits to him! :)


Many people think that engineers are really boring people and would probably choose other professions when looking for a potential lifetime partner, which is a really big mistake. We'll first look at a few examples of non-engineering professions:

DOCTOR
Supposedly, all women are after a Doctor, so don't expect your relationship to last more than 5 years. Eventually, he'll run off with some nurse from his office, or one of his young women patients that is pretending to be sick. He'll wait until you are stuck with a few kids to do this. This is not a problem with your Engineer husband. He had a hard enough time meeting you. It is unlikely he'll ever meet another woman in his profession.

LAWYER
Do you seriously expect an honest, trusting relationship with someone who gets paid for lying? Once again, this is not a problem with your Engineer spouse. He doesn't have enough social skills to lie convincingly. An additional drawback to marrying lawyer is when the divorce happens you will get nothing.

SALESMAN
See honesty segment under Lawyer. Plus, he will be traveling to trade shows, etc. where he will be in the company of other equally trustworthy individuals. The company that your Engineer husband works at will keep him in a cage, often called a cubicle, until he is ready to go home to you.

TEACHER
The only reason he entered this profession is so that he could be surrounded by newly post-pubescent girls who idolize him. He'll be in jail soon, and then you'll have to look for another man.

Think... of all the recent scandals relating to school kids and NIE...opps.

MINISTER
See Teacher and substitute the word “girls” with “boys”.

HAZARDOUS PROFESSIONS (FIREFIGHTER, CONSTRUCTION WORKER, ETC.)
Your husband, if he is not dead by some accident, will likely be crippled with a back injury, etc. just about the time you are at your sexual peak.

The only hazards that your Engineer husband will face is losing his eyesight by staring at the computer terminal for too long. This hazard actually has some benefits. For one, he will not notice that you are getting older, since you will be a blur. He will remember you as when he first met you, because the memory will still be sharp. And If you think he is looking at another woman, and you ask "Honey, were you looking at her?", he'll honestly be able to say that he didn't even see her.


Now for the Engineers:

Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
============================================================
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a stable income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too.
Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm.
Most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan.
The arts graduate is still looking for a job.
And the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.



Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
============================================================
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain
really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy.

For example: buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness

And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear. On the other hand:
The Lawyer will argue with you.
The Management graduate will try to control your spending
The Arts graduate will 'change major'.
The medical school graduate will operate on you.
And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineers believe that You are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their project and they will be hooked to you forever.



Advantage 2: Engineers will never betray your trust
============================================================
The lawyers will lie about everything.
Management graduates will cheat your money.
The arts graduate will flirt,
and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate.
Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that.


Advantage 4: An REAL engineer boyfriend can fix anything
============================================================

Leaking pipes? He 'll fix it.
Faulty light bulb? He 'll fix it.
Computer virus? He won't even let that happen.

With an engineering boyfriend/husband around, no faulty appliances will go unnoticed and he'll will get all maintenance work covered so that they run at optimum efficiency thus saving money on electricity bills. And by fixing things themselves, you save time and money paying other people to fix them.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you. plus they are cooler than the others.

So girls, why procrastinate? Get an engineer for your boyfriend.



So what about your thoughts? How about a boyf from EEE(w) and CB(e) ? Let us know through a comment below!

Twitter wars

Sometime ago, when MM Lee published his book on "Hard Truths", selling his first 60 copies of this autographed books at $10,000, with all proceeds to charity. (no joke $10,000! come on la. even if PAP govt give you GST credits every year for the rest of your life, also not even $10,000 right?)

And of course, there would be people willing to buy the book, for MM Lee's autograph, and also for the notion of doing charity. Doing charity is a good thing, which i have no qualms about. But just so happens that one such fella (Who goes by the name of Cheo), after buying the book, had to comment about MM Lee being the Nelson Mendela of Singapore. Come on la, this was how Sang Nila Utama mistakenly saw the Tiger as a Lion when he founded Temasek. (See: http://therealfakentu.blogspot.com/2011/01/once-upon-time.html )

And when you have a itchy mouth, this is what happens:

What goes below is the twitter exchange (selected) between the person who bought the book @Bossming, and the person who made the above insult @Rocksontan

@bossming to @rocksontan: I figure who the fuck are u is a bigger question? Oh wait nobody gives a fuck. So don’t bother answering.

Rocksontan continued at around noon time again:

@rocksontan's tweet: Lawrence just told me the cheebyekia who say LKY is like Mandela is from a company call Muffnang. Sell cheebye one ah?

@bossming to @rocksontan : it seems there is only one person selling cheebye here. and we know thats you. time to upgrade and sell lampa, naenae, etc.

@bossming to @rocksontan: especially since it seems your vocab is limited to hokkien vulgarities. There there, don’t cry, lets go back to your childhood.


@Bossming to @rocksontan: like perhaps why hiding behind a moniker and your hokkien vulgarities actually make you feel better.


@bossming to @rocksontan: WOW dedicated a channel to me ah. I dedicate one to you also! Nah lovebird #rocksontanlikescheebye




bossming tweets: playing with anonymous freaks is quite invigorating. i really understand now why xiaxue enjoys doing it so much.


bossming tweets: #WaysrocksontanisNOTlikemandela hoping that his expert use of hokkien vulgarities will not have a lawsuit ringing up his corner.

bossming tweets: #WaysrocksontanisNOTlikemandela one was and is an inspiration and hope to so many. the other a joke.
.
Then, @bossming started to threaten Rocksontan:

 There's your @bossming

@bossming to @rocksontan: a little birdy told me you live in bukit batok. since you don’t want to meet me online, I will wait everyday at 5pm with a rose

@bossming to @rocksontan: at the mrt station. Drop your moniker boy. It brings you more trouble than you know.
@Bossming to @rocksontan: #WaysLKYislikeMandela Mandela go jail, LKY put you in jail #cheomingshen
 @bossming to @rocksontan: correction. LKY puts slanderous fools like you in jail #WaysLKYislikeMandela

You can see the entire exchange at : http://www.temasekreview.com/2011/01/18/ypap-leader-engaging-in-vulgar-twitter-war-with-netizen/

and also Rockson Tan's blog: http://rockson.blogspot.com/ 

(and oh, did we mention that @bossming was an graduate at London School of Economics, in Economics and Political Science, and also a YPAP member?)


Which brings us to today's topic:
Just a few days ago, I received an email notification from Twitter saying that a @therealfakeSMU is now following my tweets.

and whoa?

Taken aback by the new challenger, @fakeSMU attacked back:

 

Refusing to give the new comer any publicity, @fakeSMU refused to mention @therealfakeSMU to his followers:

While bystanders applauded the new rivary:

@thereakfakeSMU tried a low blow:

All in all, @fakeSMU refused to mention @therealfakeSMU at all, cutting off his publicity:

while all along while continuing being ignorant to the rest of the twitter world (Have you noticed? @fakeSMU is following the least number of people.)

So what do you feel about Twitter wars? Did @bossming win @rocksontan? Is @therealfakeSMU going to pwn @fakeSMU?  Let us know through a comment below!

NTU tuition fee hike

 This is another photo photo album by Chen Jiaxi Bernard 陈家喜:

Why another fee hike? Didn't NTU just raise fees by 3% just last year? So why are we raising it by 7% again? Are higher fees equivalent to a higher standard of education?

Are we going to see more tuition fee hikes again? How much will a tertiary education cost in the future?

How about financial aid? Are the fees going to be so expensive that every Singaporean has to be on financial aid? (Note: you can view how sincere NTU is towards providing financial aid: http://therealfakentu.blogspot.com/2011/01/ntu-website-fail.html )

The below section goes to our NTUSU:

Did we hear something from the NTUSU regarding the tuition fee hike? No, they purred like an obedient kitty to the school administration. nice kitty kitty.

I definitely do not need a Union which just organizes a Union Camp every year, and give out some silly goody bag called exam welfare package before exams. A Students' Union should represent us students. Did the Union sought to seek our opinions and feedbacks regarding the fee hike? Oh sorry, i heard them purring.

And of course, i don't even bother asking; NTUSU were not even consulted regarding the tuition fee hike.

What are your views towards the tuition fee hike? What is the NTUSU doing? Let us know through a comment below!

A shoutout by a concerned NUS undergrad: NUSSU - What are you trying to do with the students' monies in the reserves?

This was a facebook note taken from:  Chen Jiaxi Bernard 陈家喜

We thank him for allowing us to republish this on our blog. We applaud Bernard's stance as a proactive, concerned undergrad, in voicing out on such an issue. 

However, it was with deepest regrets that instead of standing united with Bernard, some NUS undergrads chose to question his purpose and motive of campaigning for such an issue, and linking it to his political inclination. We feel that that is indeed an under the belt blow.  What goes below is the  note written by Bernard. 

_________________________________________________________________________


I posted this note on the afternoon of 31 January 2011 on the Facebook Page of NUSSU and when I checked it again at 1918hrs, it has been taken down/ deleted by NUSSU.




I understand that NUSSU and the 14 constituent clubs are currently in talks with the NUS administration to allow the administration to use monies accumulated in the reserves of each constituent clubs for purposes of investment in existing investment plan(s) that NUS currently holds. Which particular investment plan, NUSSU has no idea. The negotiations has been ongoing for at least 6 months now. The monies in the reserves are built up over the years from the annual subscription fees that students pay to NUSSU for "Student Activity and Services". Each student has to pay $24 every academic year. According to the NUS State of the University Report in 2010, there are currently 25,168 undergraduates enrolled in NUS. This means that every year, NUSSU collects $604,032 from its students. Each constituent club would then be allocated a sum of money for its activities and services throughout the academic year. Any funds that are left over would be channeled to the reserves for use under "exceptional circumstances" such as the purchase of fixed assets or any shortfall in funds in the planning for student activities. Till date, I understand this reserves amounted to a figure worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.





It is clear to me that NUSSU and the 14 constituent clubs are guardians of the monies on behalf of the students. The monies in the reserves have been painstakingly built up over the years by different batches that have studied in NUS. With this in mind, these monies do not belong to NUSSU per se and thus NUSSU has to be accountable and transparent to the student population in instances where these monies from the reserves is being utilised. Sadly, this is not the case. The question is why?



I have a couple of questions that I would like to ask NUSSU

1) Why is NUSSU so secretive in its communication with the student population and
2) What's the point of quietly going about this negotiation with the NUS administration without mentioning a word to the student population?
3) Are NUS undergraduates not qualified to know what exactly is happening? Are we not stakeholders of these monies?
4) How can the students trust NUSSU to carry on with the negotiations when it has been unaccountable and nontransparent in its conduct as seen in the recent issue over the tuition fee hike?
5) How much monies are there in the reserves?
6) How is these monies going to be invested and what are the returns like?
7) How would the students benefit from the investment?
8) In the event of a failed investment, are there any safeguards that NUS can promise to the student population?
9) Has the negotiation been conducted on a equal basis? Has the administration been exceedingly forcefully in trying to obtain an agreement from NUSSU and the 14 constituent clubs?
10) Can undergraduates in NUS trust NUSSU?

I would like NUSSU to stop the negotiation with immediate effect and commence with the consultation process with the student population in each faculty, with the objectives of (1) explaining to them what this entire project is all about; (2) seeking the acquiescence of the students to represent them in any future negotiations with the administration. In the event that no consensus/ decision can be obtained, this issue should be put forth in a form of a student referendum to chart the way forward (i.e. to accept OR reject the use of the monies for investment)



Such behaviour of the union is deeply deeply regrettable. In the first place, no undergraduate has agreed to allow the use of the reserves for purposes of investment. NUSSU was created to serve the students, its biggest stakeholder and not to impose its collective will upon them.



Where's the accountability, transparency and representation?

 and exactly, where!!

___________________________________________________________



Such a note did jolt NUSSU out of their seats. a few days later, came their reply:




 ___________________________________________________________

Dear Students,

NUSSU is glad to have received feedback and opinions from students regarding how the Union handles issues like subscription fees, investment of reserves, etc.

The Union receives a subscription fee of $24 from each NUS undergraduate on an annual basis, and this fee is divided equally into 3 portions, These fees collected are used to cover the clubs’ respective operations and initiatives. The breakdown can be found in our latest *Annual General Meeting Report 2010.


The Office of Financial Services (OFS) approached NUSSU about 6 months ago with a proposal to move NUSSU’s reserves from a current fixed deposit scheme to the University’s investment portfolio. From our understanding, the University’s investment portfolio consists of both short term and long term portfolios and these investments would be handled by the NUS Investment Office (IVO). The relevant information on this investment proposal can be found in an excerpt from the *Terms and Conditions .

Currently, NUSSU is still engaged in talks with IVO and OFS and we have currently an understanding that between all parties that the investment will not proceed NUSSU agrees to the proposed scheme, after ascertaining that the students’ interests will not be compromised. NUSSU fully intends to continue engaging IVO and OFS in further discussions and negotiations before making any commitment of our reserves. NUSSU Exco and Constituent Clubs will also, with consultation and information in mind, announce their intentions with regard to the proposed investment plan prior to making any decision. NUSSU has yet to promise anything as of now with regard to this investment of reserves.

NUSSU invites all interested students to a forum on the 16th February 2011, 7pm, at the Yusof Ishak House (YIH) Students’ Lounge. The NUSSU Forum will be announced to all students along with the agenda via the NUSmail.

*The Annual General Meeting Report and the Investment Terms and Conditions can be found at the NUSSU Website via the following link:
http://community.nus.edu.sg/nussu/

Thank you.

 ________________________________________________________________

In short, we understand that the NUSSU is quite rich in reserves ($600,000 collected every year) . And the Office of Financial Services (OFA) is eyeballing the reserves and approached NUSSU in transferring NUSSU reserves to the OFA instead.

Of course, when we say, 'approach' there are various ways of approaching, consider such examples:

"Hey sexy, Could i buy a drink for you? what would it be, a long island ice tea?"

OR

"This is a hold up. Give me all your money, OR ELSE."

Whether NUSSU were fully agreeing to the notion, to transfer their reserves to OFA, or they were they being probed and pushed to do so, we do not know. Neither did NUSSU explain.

So the issue lies in, currently NUSSU reserves are placed in current fixed deposits schemes which are low risk, safe and guaranteed by MAS. Which suits NUSSU investment horizon. NUSSU is a Student Union, where union fees collected are mainly for the operation expenses for student activities. Where by excess would be better kept for rainy days. Cash has to be liquid (can be withdrawn anytime) and the principal amount MUST not be undercut by volatility in the investments.

(Let me explain, for non finance-savvy students. lets consider an example of an small minimart. A minimart needs cash for buying stocks (like milk, cup noodles etc) Of course when the owner has some earnings from the day, he deposits the money into savings/fixed deposits in banks, so when money is needed he can use it as and when he wants. Of course, asking the owner to invest the excess cash into riskier stocks and options may not be good, because the risks and volatility of such investments may cause him to lose part or whole of the money.)

However if such reserves were transfered to NUS investment porfolio, would such an investment portfolio suit the needs of NUSSU? The university investment's portfolio would diversify their investments into stocks, bonds, money markets, etc. But on NUSSU's side, do they need to see their reserves being invested into such risker investment sources? What about the market risk of such investments? Will NUSSU bare the loss of their reserves if NUS investment portfolio fails? Does NUSSU even need to assume such a risk for their reserves?

What do you think? let us know through a comment below!

What is humour?

If you have been following @therealfakeNTU all this 2months plus, we thank you for all your support :)

Using humour has been an aspect of our presence of @therealfakeNTU, so today we would like to conceptualize the idea of humour:

We believe that the concept of humour consists of both logic and illogical components, which co-exist together. Consider these examples:


What did the Pluto resident say to the Martian visitor? "adfoei et rgasodh ah ghi as adgfaho!"


Yes, it has the illogical component - the Martian and the Pluto Resident, but the element of logic is missing. So the joke does not make sense at all.

Consider this next example:


What did the promiscuous sexy lady say to her friend? "I love cocks, especially big ones" - Logical yes, if I was a promiscuous lady, I'll definately love big............ errr, nevermind. but there is no element of irrationality, boring.


Lets vary it: What did the hen say to her friend? "I love cocks, especially big ones" - ah thats a fine mix of both elements, what do you think?



However when the link of irrationality and logic becomes too far fetched, it becomes a lame joke. I remember a conversation with my friend a few months back, which lead to a lame joke. I'm a bad driver, and I swear i can't handle manual cars. So when I was asking my friend about my thumbdrive, which was with him, this was his reply, "you cannot even drive manual, you want to thumb drive?"


There you go. And of course, if you were linked here from facebook, and you do have twitter, do follow us on twitter: @therealfakeNTU !

 and of course, check out our friends on twitter for humour at the very best: @merylzhanyee, @museoramuse. @cchockolate, @kickthatmo, @fakeMOE, @realFASS!

What do you feel about us tweeters? Do let us know through a comment below!

Wacky CNY practices

After the previous blogpost about CNY folktales, today will be on wacky CNY practices.

This news segment was taken from Taiwan, where people rush into the temple at the stroke of midnight to plant the first pair of jossstick into the urn for the year, as it is believed that the first will be blessed with good luck.




But ironic as it seems, due to the large number of people, and the limited place in the urn to hold joss sticks, temple staff would usually pull out the joss stick immediate after people plant them in, to make space for other people.

How did your CNY go? let us know through a comment below!

CNY folktales and NTU

There's various folktales regarding CNY, including the one there being an awful monster, which terrorized the villages. So the villages found a way to chase the monster off by making loud, jarring sounds, like sounding of the cymbols and blasting CNY music.......

 ok too cute to be the nian monster

But thats not the folktale I would be talking about today. There was this particular one i heard from my JC chinese tutor, which was rather less common. and I cant be sure of the accuracy of the folktale (but a folktale is a folktale) so here it goes:

At year end, the people heard a rumour that the Jade Emperor were unpleased with them, due to their wasteful habits and crimes committed, and wanted to punish them by reducing their life span, and dying on the first day of new year. (holocast ah? wts)

The people were naturally afraid, and after discussion with the village head, they decided to pray to the Stove Deity (灶神 if u are familar with) , and hope that he could go meet the Jade Emperor to put in a good word for them. And to make sure that the Stove Deity would only speak good things about them, they decided to offer him a lot of sticky and gooey sweet stuffs, which would 'glue up his mouth' and so all that he says will only the good things.

So on the 23rd of the twelve lunar new year, the people sent off the Stove Deity (腊月二十三要送灶神上天) and decided to wait for his good news. The days crept by, and on the eve of the new year, they still heard no news from the Stove Deity. Thinking it was their last day on earth (Remember they heard the rumour that they would die on the first day of the year?), they decided to kill all their life stock (pigs, chickens etc) and cook up a  good last meal for themselves before they died on the new year. So for their last meal, families got together, and enjoyed a last good meal together. (Thats also how the reunion dinner concept came about, all members of the family getting together)

And after the last meal together, all members of the family huddled together, and decided to spend their last hours together with their families, awaiting midnight. (there's also the chinese tradition, of 守岁, which means that children have to spend the night of CNY eve with their parents, so as to bless them with longevity. SO SHAME ON YOU IF YOU GO CLUBBING AFTER UR REUNION DINNER. HAHA)

And on the stroke of midnight, they realised that they were still living, and thus it dawned on them that maybe the Stove Deity had managed to convince the Jade Emperor! In delight, they put off fire crackers, and tried to find some food left in their kitchen to cook to celebrate. Since they had eaten most of the food during the supposedly last dinner, they only managed to find some left over pork, so they made them into dumplings 饺子 and cooked them and celebrated throughout the night. (there's also the tradition of of eating dumplings in the wee hours of the first day of the lunar new year)

After everybody woke up in the morning, they congratulated fellow villages, to have a happy new year (which can be translated to: Congratulations, you aren't dead! and neither am i dead!)

And of course, nobody's dying on the first day of CNY, so don't go around congratulating people that they aren't dead come thursday!  

So what morals can NTU students learn from this above folktale?
1) Similarly to offering the Stove Deity sweet and gooey stuffs before going to meet the Jade Emperor to negotiate on their behalf; so, before your peer evaluation, it doesn't hurt to offer your tutorial mates sweets. Just to make sure that what comes out of their mouth are sweeet stuffs. 

2) And similar to congratulating each other on CNY day; do the same for Results Day. if you did well, share the joy! Tell your friends your GPA. Share your GPA when people ask you for it. Don't be like competitive NBS students who ham and haw when people ask for your GPA.
"erm I did okay la"
"How much did you get?"
 "I did quite okay lor. why do you ask?" (it doesnt hurt to say even if you have a GPA of 4.99999 first class honours + Deans list. SHARE. Spread the joy.)

3) And of course. Don't go clubbing on CNY eve after your reunion dinner! remember the 守岁 tradition. Stay up with your parents throughout the night to bless them with longevity.

PS part 2 was written by a NBS writer, who is quite irked by NBS students having a habit of not telling people their GPA, but only when probed. :B

And, for our readers, a Happy Chinese New Year! And thank you for all the support you have given @therealfakeNTU ! :B